Temporary Home
by flawlesspeasant
Summary: Jo is shocked when she comes face to face with someone from Alex's past, and Alex is even more shocked when she invites this person home to meet their children.
1. Chapter 1

**From a prompt I recieved on tumblr. This will be in four parts.**

* * *

When the automatic glass doors pulled apart and dispersed harsh wintry air inside the hospital, she trudged through them and finally took a deep, steadying breath. She stood in the doorway with her hands buried wrist-deep in the pockets of her windbreaker, her head held up and her eyes roaming. Water droplets from the most recent torrential downpour of rain clung to the nylon fabric of her jacket. Eventually, they rolled off and collected on the rug beneath her feet, which was soaked from the traffic of hundreds of people tracking in and out through the doors she just came through.

She was in the way, preventing the influx of people from walking a smooth path, but she didn't realize. Most of the people that she blocked shook their heads, sucked their teeth and just went around her, mumbling profanities under their breath at the way she seemed to stand without purpose. But she did have purpose. This was not at all what she was expecting and for that reason, she needed a moment to stare and take it in.

She wasn't expecting the rain to be as heavy as it was. She had heard about the weather in Seattle on more than one occasion, so she did prepare by packing a waterproof jacket, but it was nothing like the image she had in her mind. She wasn't expecting clear skies and murky sidewalks, but she was expecting there to be a sense of depression around so much rain. She wasn't expecting to be absolutely enchanted by the weather. She wasn't expecting to love it. Seattle weather was something she had to see to believe and now that she had finally seen it, she didn't know how she would go back to where she was more accustomed.

The weather sure was a pleasant surprise as it wasn't quite what she was expecting, but more than anything, she wasn't expecting the hospital to look quite like this. It was...nice, which was a surprise to her. Countless times before, when she thought about the fact that he worked in a hospital, she had imagined what it would look like and never did once did an image match the one that stood before her. She thought maybe the walls would be made of cinderblock with cheap paint peeling here and there, maybe faulty wiring making the lights flicker and dirty tiled floors. That was what she thought Grey-Sloan Memorial Hospital would be. It was a hospital, after all. Every hospital she had been in looked that way.

"Excuse me," croaked an elderly man as he stepped around her while shoving a dark brown baseball cap on his head.

Ripped from her thoughts of astonishment, she quickly stepped aside and let the man pass her without anything more than a mumbled but polite, "I'm sorry."

Brought back to reality, she looked down to find that she was, in fact, standing on a rug and grinned when she saw the hospital's logo. _This is really it,_ she thought to herself. When she left her house at 10:00 this morning, she wasn't sure about a lot of things. She wasn't sure if coming to Seattle was a good idea, she wasn't sure if showing up unexpected was the right thing to do and she wasn't sure if a call before coming would've changed anything. She wasn't sure of a lot of things when she left this morning, but looking down at the logo was like a fresh breath, a burst of confidence.

She nodded her head out of her hood, took her hands out of her pockets and combed her fingers through the lengths of her damp, sandy brown hair just to ensure that it laid down properly before she took a few uncertain steps to the front reception desk. Nerves rocketed all through her body, but above every other emotion, she was riddled with anxiety. Realizing that she probably should have called first, she swallowed her pride and took yet another deep breath.

Approaching the desk with her head held high to feign confidence, she glossed over the busy looking woman dressed in light colored scrubs, typing away on a desktop computer. She didn't want to interrupt the woman and distract her from doing her job, but she was almost certain that if she needed to see someone, she was the person to ask. She cleared her throat and put her hands back into her pockets, a sign of apprehension.

"Excuse me," she started, voice laced with uncertainty. The nurse behind the computer immediately stopped typing and looked up, annoyance written clear in her expression. "Can you tell me where I would find a doctor?" The woman raised her eyebrows, which made her burst into a fit of nervous laughter. "Dr. Karev," she clarified, still smiling. "Alex Karev."

"Do you have an appointment?"

"No, ma'am."

"Do you need to make one?"

"No, but-," she sighed. "Can't you just like...tell him to come here? Or something like that?"

"I can't page a surgeon unless it's an absolute emergency or unless you work here, which neither seem to be the case for you. You can take a seat in the waiting area over there and wait for him to come down if you'd like, but I can't page him if there's nothing to page him about."

"So he does work here?" she asked. For some reason, just hearing her confirm that he was indeed a doctor at this hospital made it all the more real to her. She couldn't believe that after over ten years, she was actually in the same building as he was. The feeling truly was bittersweet. "Are you sure you can't just tell him to come here? It'll be quick, I promise. I know him."

"I'm sorry, but I can't…"

* * *

"I understand you're recommending amputation, but what I'm saying is that he's only fifteen years old and you and I both know that kids are more resilient," Jo urged, struggling to keep up with the pace that Callie walked at. "He's got a chance, doesn't he? We could do a few rounds of chemo and radiation to shrink the tumors and then we can go in and remove them if they don't metastasize anymore. It's less invasive and he might actually get to keep his leg."

Irritated, Callie stopped walking dead in her tracks and glared at Jo with her pager still clenched firmly in her hand. Jo had been bucking her on the course of treatment for one of her osteosarcoma patients all day and she was getting sick of it. She was prepared to tell Jo that she was amputating the leg and that was the end of it, but the way she looked at her threw her for a bit of a loop. She was hopeful, she could see that in her eyes. And she couldn't deny that it was a valid treatment plan. She bit her lip and tried to find any sign of faltering in Jo's eyes, but she couldn't. She was persistent and it was, perhaps, one of the things she liked the most about her.

"...Get me an Oncology consult," she said through clenched teeth. A satisfied smile broke across Jo's face, which made Callie harden again. "I'm serious, Wilson. Go get me an Oncology consult and if I'm not convinced after this consult that chemo and radiation will shrink the tumors to the point where he will be completely cured then the leg is coming off. Got that?"

"Yes," Jo nodded, still smiling. "Absolutely. I'll get you that consult, Dr. Torres...You won't be disappointed."

Leaving Callie alone to think on her own about the new treatment plan, Jo turned completely around and enthusiastically walked down the hallway to get the consult from the oncologist. She didn't like to go against Dr. Torres' treatment plans, but this time she really felt that she was right. Back when she was still just a fellow and learning, she used to think that Callie was the god of all doctors. She jumped at any and every opportunity to learn from her and secretly, she hoped to become as good a surgeon as she was. But one of the things she disliked about her mentor was that she was always too eager to cut. As a doctor, Jo always tried to step back and find other alternatives before jumping to surgery, and that was something that she wasn't taught.

She wrapped her hand around the pager that hung from her neck to keep it from flinging too wildly and lightly jogged down the staircase to get to the main nurses' station.

"I know you have protocol and I'm sure it's for a very good reason, but you can just tell him to come down here for five minutes!"

"Dr. Karev is a busy man and I'm not sure he has five minutes to spare! Now I'll leave him a message if you tell me your name and-"

"I already told you, if he knew it was me, he wouldn't-"

"And I already told you that I'm sorry but I cannot page a doctor when there is no emergency!"

"I know him though! How do you think I knew to come here? What do you think, I'm asking to see a Dr. Karev for my health?!"

Still standing beside the landing of the staircase, Jo watched the entire exchange in utter confusion. She examined the girl from a distance in an attempt to see if she recognized who she might be, but she was stuck. She eyed the slender legs that were stuffed inside a tight pair of jeans, the thick golden hair that rested in the middle of her back. Her stomach began to ache. She knew who she was. Deep in her gut, she knew exactly who this woman was. It made entirely too much sense for her to be wrong. She couldn't see her face, but she didn't need to.

What was she doing here? What did she want with Alex? She knew that technically, it wasn't any of her business if someone was there to see Alex, but she couldn't help but feel nauseous anyway. She thought for sure that Alex put her behind him for good. Hell, she actually believed him every time he gave her the "Izzie was my past, you're my future" speech. But here she was, standing in the hospital to see him… What did she want?

Feeling tears prick at the corners of her eyes and a tiny bit of white-hot rage bubbling in the pit of her stomach, Jo fingered the necklace around her neck and sighed. Alex had given it to her for Christmas. It was their "engagement necklace." He didn't want to re-propose with a ring since they already had rings from their first shot at marriage, so he bought a necklace with the help of Lyla. She smiled to herself at the thought of the necklace and what it signified. He wouldn't just throw that away. He would've never asked her to remarry him if he wasn't serious. She knew Alex.

So, feeling as confident as she possibly could, she tucked the necklace under the collar of her shirt and sauntered over to the nurses' station. She didn't know what she was going to say or what she was going to do, but she figured that she could be professional. She wasn't going to throw down and have a fist fight with Alex's ex-wife, but she was going to let her know that anything she had to say to him, she could say to her. She thought that was fair. Firm, but understanding. She could do it.

"I'm _telling_ you, I know him! I know him personally!" the blonde pleaded.

Jo swallowed a lump in the back of her throat and licked her lips as she inched closer and closer to her. Her voice wasn't at all what she was expecting it to be. When she first learned that Alex was married to a magazine model, she spent countless hours imagining what her voice might sound like and it was nothing like the sweet, nasally tone she was hearing.

"And I'm telling you that doesn't matter!" the nurse barked back at her. "You need to leave now or I'm calling se-"

"Pardon me," Jo interrupted the nurse, standing two or three paces behind the blonde. She didn't want to stand beside her. She didn't even want to look her in her eye. "Is...somebody looking for Alex?" she asked, sheepishly. "Are _you_ looking for Alex?"

The blonde spun around and sighed in both exasperation and relief. Finally, she was going to get somebody to help her and not this bitchy receptionist who wasn't in the least bit hospitable. She quickly brushed off her bad mood and took a step towards the brunette that clearly knew who she was looking for.

"Yes," she nodded her head. "Do you know him? Can you page him, or whatever it is you guys do? Please?"

As soon as she came face to face with her, instinctively, Jo's hand flew up to her stomach. She felt empty. Like a canon had been shot clean through her stomach. She truly had to touch herself, to feel and make sure there wasn't a hole through the middle of her body. She was stunned, taken aback by her face. She even licked at her lip to see if she tasted blood, because the felt like she had been slapped by the cold, hard hands of reality. Then, the nausea came. She felt sick and the only thing that calmed her was the ice cold bead of sweat that trickled down her back.

She felt as if she was in another universe. Like something had come and taken her away, like time travel was a thing and she had been transported several years into the future. She knew her face. Her face was eerily familiar...and not because she was the woman that had been married to her fiancé.

She had never seen her a day in her life. Not even in pictures. But she knew her face. Her face belonged to someone that Jo knew all too well. She knew the haunting turquoise eyes that stared back at her, as they were the same eyes that filled with tears when the bottle was late. She knew the lips that were so pink that it looked like she eternally wore lipstick, as they were the same lips that curled up into a smile when they tasted their first birthday cake. She knew the nose that was spread across her face, as it was the same nose that she had wiped snot from when it ran. Her hair, so light brown that it teetered on the brink of blonde...she could've sworn that she brushed that hair before. And the distinctively high cheekbones...she had kissed those cheeks before, she knew it. This face had been one she looked at every day for six years straight, but she never even met the woman that wore it.

She didn't know who she was, but she had a name. Only in brief passing, in side conversations had she been mentioned but she knew her name. There was no one else in the world that this could be.

She couldn't blink. She couldn't even think. She couldn't breathe. All she could do was stare. She wanted Alex, didn't want her. Probably didn't even know who she was. Maybe heard about her over the phone or through letters but definitely didn't know her face. Probably didn't even know her name, if she left it up to Alex.

"Amber?" she whispered her name, testing it out to see if it held weight. It didn't feel real.

The blonde wrinkled her eyebrows in confusion and took a step away from the friendly brunette that swooped in as her savior. How did she know her name? Matter of a fact, who was she? She tried to file through her mind for a name to put to the face that clearly knew who she was, but she couldn't. Had they met before? She didn't think so.

"Have we...met?" she wondered aloud.


	2. Chapter 2

"Have we...met?" she wondered aloud. As soon as the last syllable rolled off her tongue, she realized how stupid of a question that was. Of course they'd met before. How else would she know her name enough to call her by it and sound so sure when she did?

She immediately felt bad for having to ask the woman that stood in front of her for clarity, but she truly didn't know who she was. She didn't recall knowing anyone from Seattle aside from her brother, but clearly, she was wrong. Someone knew her and she couldn't reciprocate the same courtesy.

She studied Jo's face in an attempt to find some kind of recognizable feature, and sighed in defeat when she couldn't. She just didn't recognize her. She thought that Jo looked to be about her age, so maybe she graduated with her back in Iowa. It was a stretch, but if Alex ended up in Washington then it was possible for someone else from Iowa to end up there too. Yeah, that was it. She graduated from high school with this girl and being that her high school graduated 300 kids her year, it was normal for her to have forgotten a face or two. It was a lousy explanation, but it was an explanation and that's what she needed to not feel guilty.

Still lost in the familiarity of her face, Jo took a few moments to collect her thoughts before answering Amber's question. It still floored her to look at her, though. The resemblance was just...stunning. For six years, she convinced herself that her daughter's blonde hair and blue eyes were just a lucky spin of the gene pool. She told herself that maybe her own parents had the light hair and light eyes that were given to Lyla because like so many others, she too expected her baby to come out with dark hair and dark eyes and was surprised when she didn't. It all made sense, though. The pieces fit, the lines connected and everything made sense now.

"N-no," Jo stuttered, shaking her head. "We haven't… We haven't met, but-"

"But you called me...how'd you know my name?" Confused, Amber's eyebrows contorted and she took another step away. "How do you know me?"

Jo's lips parted at the beginning of a sentence, but she came up dry. She had everything to say, just not the words to do so. Her mind was racing at a thousand miles a minute and the thoughts whirled by too fast for her to form a cohesive sentence. What was she doing here? What did she want with Alex? Was she sick? Did Alex know she was here? Of course he didn't know. He'd never let her step foot in this hospital. Did she need something?

"You just look so much like…," she whispered before deciding that starting with who she looked like probably wasn't the best way to start. "I-I'm Al-Your brother…I…-" Jo closed her mouth and swallowed, giving her another moment to regroup.

"You know Alex?" Doubts and uncertainty completely washed away, Amber stepped toward her and looked at her with begging eyes. Jo just nodded her head. "Can you get him for me? Please?"

"Y-Yeah," Jo nodded again. She was finally feeling herself coming back together, snapping out of whatever trance that coming face to face with her daughter's twin put her in. "I mean yeah I know him...very well, actually, but I don't know if I can get him for you. I'm pretty sure he's in surgery."

Amber sighed and her shoulders slouched. "Well...can you just tell him that I came? Tell him that my flight leaves tomorr-Wait, no, don't tell him it's me. He'd never get back to me if he knew it was me. Will you just-," she bit her lip and took a moment to think. In the momentary lapse of speaking, she remembered what she was thinking about before this woman admitted that she knew Alex. Her eyebrows wrinkled again. "Who are you, again?"

"I never…" Jo's voice trailed off before she pulled her hand from her pocket and offered it to her. "Jo. Wilson."

She studied her hand for a few seconds before slowly reaching out and shaking it. She brought her eyes back up to Jo's and her face relaxed, comfortable now.

"How do you know Alex?"

"I'm...Alex is my…" Jo pushed her tongue over into her cheek and looked down. Clearly Alex hadn't told her about her. She didn't recognize her name when she told it to her and that alone was evidence enough. But she didn't know if this was how she should find out. Alex would probably want to tell her himself. But she deserved an explanation...she clearly came all the way from Iowa...she deserved to know. "I'm Alex's wife...ex-wife...fiancée...it's complicated."

Amber's face softened into a gentle smile and she enthusiastically shook Jo's hand so hard that Jo felt as if her arm was going to fly off her body.

"Right!" she beamed. "Aaron told me about you once! I'm sorry, I'm horrible with names, but I could've sworn that Aaron said your name was Izzie, or something. Then again, he also said that you had cancer and you don't really look… Anyway, my mistake, I'm so sorry. Really nice to meet you, sorry for the mishap." She dropped Jo's hands and looked her from head to toe, admiring how beautiful her brother's wife turned out to be after all.

"I'm his second wife," Jo explained. She tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear and placed her hands back into her pockets. "You're not mistaken. Izzie was his first and she did-does-did have cancer, but that was a really long time ago and besides the whole point. But anyway, yes. I'm Alex's fiancée-ish."

"Fiancée-ish…," she nodded her head like she understood when in reality, she was as confused as they come. "You're gonna have to explain that one."

Jo laughed and looked down at her pager, only to find that she had no new cases. "Do you have time?"

Amber just looked at her, silent and unable to speak. She was confused, sure. Alex had a wife that wasn't his wife anymore and now he has a fiancée that was sort of his fiancée but not really? She was confused. But laced amongst her confusion, she felt traces of anger lingering. How was it that the woman standing in front of her was offering her more of an explanation than her own brother even cared to?

Did she have time? Not really. She hadn't planned on spending her entire day in the hospital, and she certainly didn't plan on spending it with a stranger she hardly knew. No, she didn't have time. She put her hands in her pockets and felt her fingertips brush across a smooth, papery envelope. She had only come to give him it. All she wanted was to hand him the envelope. She didn't come to spend a day talking to a stranger.

But this stranger could put all her questions to rest. She could put her mind at ease. And she wanted to know. She had questions burning in the back of her mind, questions that she would kill to have answered. This woman...Jo, as her name turned out to be, was beautiful. She had long, flowing brunette hair and the prettiest brown eyes she had ever seen. She was absolutely beautiful, but where did she fit? Where did she fit with Alex's life? What was Alex like with her? Was he like the Alex that she remembered? The Alex that could weave intricate braids into her hair with ease, that knew how to cut the crusts off her sandwiches, that made sure she was asleep long before the fighting ensued? Or was he like the Alex she tried to forget? The angry Alex, the one that had hints of the father she could almost remember? She had questions she'd kill to have answered. She'd make the time.

"Yes," she said. "I have time."

* * *

The more she explored the hallways with the woman who identified herself as her brother's wife, the more Amber realized that the hospital truly was unlike any hospital she had ever been in. The hospitals she was used to had white walls and hardly any windows to keep out sunlight and other possible triggers for patients. Grey-Sloan Memorial had lots of windows and a sense of openness about it that she truly admired. She felt free roaming the halls with Jo and in some instances, she found herself forgetting that it was a hospital at all. She couldn't believe that Alex worked here.

Somewhere between being shown around to the cafeteria and the emergency room, she had decided that she liked Jo. She seemed sweet, sensible and very down-to-earth. Secretly, she was glad that she had "found" the time to walk and talk with her. It seemed like Alex was a pretty decent judge of character to have picked a woman like her.

"And that's the royal tour of the hospital...or, as much of it as I can show you. They don't let visitors on the surgical floors," Jo sighed, smiling as she turned so that she and Amber were no longer standing side by side. She could see the disappointment on Amber's face, though. She showed her around the hospital, told her what each floor was, told her where Alex worked and gave her the full rundown on most everyone that worked there, and she was stuck now. She had officially run out of stalling tactics. She knew it wasn't her place to delve into the heavier topics. She wanted to leave that up to Alex because clearly it was something he and his sister should discuss privately. But she didn't know what else to do, so she cleared her throat and took a deep breath before asking, "...Does Alex know you're here?"

"You really think he'd let me come if I didn't just come on my own?" Amber quipped, her snarkiness mirroring her brother's for a moment. Feeling bad at having sassed Jo, the only person that had been nice to her since she touched down in Seattle, she sighed and retracted her tone. "Sorry, I just…" She swept her long blonde hair out of her face and shook her head. "He doesn't tell us much, Jo. He left us and he moved out here and that was it. No calls, no emails, nothing. He just left. He used to pack my lunches for school field trips and give me baths, but I didn't even get an invite to his wedding...or _weddings_ , rather. You know how I found out he was married? The first time? Aaron. I didn't even find out from him. He didn't bother to tell me. And-"

"Well, his first wedding was a-" Jo began, in Alex's defense.

"I know. It was a surprise," Amber mumbled. "He still could've called to tell us the news, right? I know he's busy, but...it's been _years_. It's been years and he hasn't even ever hopped on a plane to see us. Has he been busy for years? He clearly doesn't want to see us-see me. You really think I was going to tell him that I was coming? Just for him to tell me not to?"

Jo stood motionless, her feet planted on the ground and her hands deep in her pockets. She sat on the words that Amber had just spoken and let them marinate in her mind. She herself knew that Alex didn't communicate much with his family. The most she had ever seen him do was seal an envelope full of money and stick it in the mailbox every month. That was it. No wedding announcements, birth announcements or pictures of the kids. Just a few wads of twenty dollar bills and that was it. Being on her end, she was ignorant to just how badly it bothered his family. It didn't seem to bother Alex much, so she always figured that his family wasn't affected by it either. Well, Amber had proven her wrong.

It wasn't her business and she knew that. She knew that it wasn't her place to sit down and tell Amber everything she had been missing. About Alex, and how he was a damn good pediatrician these days. About how he was a father, of two kids and divorced twice. It wasn't her place to say all of these things and she knew in the back of her mind that she'd have to deal with the repercussions from Alex later, once he found out that she told. But...she thought maybe it was worth it.

She knew that she was being clouded by the fact that she never had a family herself. That had clouded her thinking on more than one occasion. But it wasn't about her anymore. It was about Amber. She had a right to know. And more importantly, her children deserved to know their aunt.

"Come sit down," she plastered a half smile on her face and motioned with her head over toward the chairs in the waiting area. "Alex should be out of surgery in about an hour, if you want to wait…I'll wait with you."

Amber nodded her head and looked around as she and Jo stood on the catwalk. The hospital was nice, she wouldn't deny that. But she had been there for at least an hour and still hadn't even laid eyes on the one person she came to see. She couldn't leave without at least seeing Alex. She'd wait for an hour. She'd wait for an hour and take as much information as she could get out of Jo while she waited.

She followed Jo over to the line of chairs and took a seat in the one closest to the window. Jo sat down next to her and for the first time since she stepped off her plane, Amber relaxed. Her shoulders untensed and her body eased into a comfortable, less-polished slouch.

"How long have you known Alex?" she started right off the bat. She figured she only had an hour to get years' worth of information and she didn't want to waste time.

An honest, genuine smile spread across Jo's face as she crossed her legs to get comfortable herself.

"Ten years. I met Alex when I was an intern here and we started dating towards the end of my intern year when I was 25. I'm 35 now, going on 36."

"You're 35? I'm 34 and you looked the same age as me, so...I could've guessed, but… I figured you were older than you looked. Alex usually liked them older and… Well… He got around and-"

Jo snickered and shook her head. "You don't have to sugar coat it. I'm well aware." Amber laughed too and scooted a little closer. "I've been with Alex for ten years."

"And you said fiancée-ish...are you guys engaged or not?"

"Yeah that's a long story," Jo cleared her throat. "I'll make it short. Alex and I got married when I was about to be a fellow...when you're in a surgical program, you do five years residency and-"

"I know how that works," Amber interrupted for the sake of saving time. "...Psychiatrist. Doesn't really have the same training but I get the gist."

Jo nodded her head and continued. "Right. So we got married my last year of residency and we were married for five years before things got messy… We just didn't see eye to eye and things happened, and we split. We got divorced but we worked on it and we're gonna get married again sometime in the spring." She grabbed the necklace hanging around her neck. She pulled it out of her shirt and showed it to Amber. "This is our engagement necklace. He gave it to me for Christmas this year."

Amber reached out and held it up so she could get a closer look. She smiled. "It's beautiful. Alex always did have a knack for picking out pretty things. Can I expect an invite to the wedding or am I excluded from this one too?"

"I'll make sure you get an invitation," Jo promised. She cleared her throat again and uncrossed her legs since they were beginning to lose feeling. "So you're a psychiatrist?"

"Mhm," she nodded her head proudly. "It took me a while to finish school… I wasn't even going to go. But then I thought about how if Alex made it, I could too. I'm not allowed to treat our mom, but...I think it helps her to have me in the same hospital, you know? I can't treat her but I see her face every day and she sees me. I think that helps her."

"Did you decide to be a psychiatrist because your mom is sick? Or…sorry, you don't have to answer that."

Amber shook her head and gave Jo an easy smile. "No, it's fine. Fair question. But no. My mom wasn't the reason… Aaron was." Jo wrinkled her brows. "He was diagnosed after he had his first episode when I was 16. He was committed too. And I just knew that...it's always so much harder when you remember someone and what they were like before the switch went off. Like my mom used to bake us cakes when they finally found the right meds. She wasn't always coming after us and talking about the voices. She had good days and the good days… The good days were so good. And it was the same with Aaron. He was brother before he was crazy. And then a switch went off and he wasn't my brother anymore. So I always told myself… If I can prevent the switch from going off and keeping someone's mother or brother their mother or brother? It's worth it."

Jo felt tears prick at the corners of her eyes, but she blinked them back. "Does he know? That you're a doctor too?"

"Probably not," Amber sighed. "I sent him a ticket to my med school graduation...so maybe he does know," she shrugged. "I don't know."

"...He loves you, you know. He really does. He just doesn't always know how to… Show it. He always says that he put down roots here and he doesn't want-"

"You don't have to teach me how to speak my brother's language Jo. The man practically raised me. I'm pretty fluent."

"Sorry."

"It's fine," she bit her lip. "I know the system did a number on him but I don't really think it's much of an excuse-"

"I was a foster kid too," Jo whispered. Amber looked at her with new respect. "I'm just saying… I know what the system does to kids."

Amber wiped her sweaty palms on the knees of her jeans and sat back in her chair. "Are you saying I should excuse him for not even bothering to contact me? I should just excuse the fact that the only way I know he's alive is whenever I receive the envelope of money he sends my mom every month? That he didn't bother to tell me that he was married, divorced, married again, divorced again and then re-engaged? It's not like he refused to tell me about a parking ticket…"

"No," Jo shook her head. "You shouldn't excuse that. He's just… So crappy with people."

Amber stared at a crack in the floor tile as her vision blurred over with tears. "...I don't even know how he turned out," she whispered.

Jo took a deep breath and reached in the pocket of her lab coat to grab her phone. She knew that this was probably a mistake. She was making things worse for herself. When Alex found out what she did, he'd kill her for sure. But she had to. It was killing her to keep this a secret. Sure she thought it would be better for Amber to hear this from Alex, but they sat and had a heart to heart. If she found out from Alex, she'd feel betrayed by Jo too. Betrayed by the fact that they talked so deeply and she never mentioned them. She unlocked her phone and went to her "pictures" app.

"...I'm gonna show you something, okay?" she said softly. Amber broke her concentration and gave Jo her attention with tears still taunting the rims of her eyes. "I'm sorry you had to find out this way. Alex is wrong for it and he should have been the one to tell you. But since he didn't, I will. Alright?" Amber nodded and sat up straight, prepared for the worst. "...Promise me you won't die of cuteness."

Amber grinned and tilted her head out of curiosity. Jo scrolled through her pictures for the best one and tapped on it.

"I'm not married to Alex anymore but I was and I think that still makes us sisters. I don't know much about how to be a sister...I've never had one. But I think this is what sisters do. They gush, right? They gush to each other about cheesy things…. Anyway, I'm ranting," she stopped herself and slowly turned her phone to show it to Amber. "Here you go… This is how I knew who you were."

Amber felt her jaw come unhinged and a gasp exit her mouth so sharply that it hurt. Her hand slowly crept up to her mouth and the tears that were already threatening to fall finally spilled over. She couldn't believe what she was looking at.

"Oh my god," she mouthed in disbelief. "...Yours?" She already knew the answer to the question but she needed confirmation. Her brain wouldn't allow her to believe it until she heard the words. Jo nodded her head and scrolled to the left to show her more pictures. "She's so…"

"Mhm," Jo nodded her head and pursed her lips to keep her own tears in her eyes. "Her name's Lyla and she turned six in July. She's a real big headache but she's pretty, isn't she?" She reached up and swiped her own tears away. "When she came out, she had the biggest blue-green eyes I've ever seen in my life and when she was about a month old, her hair started lightening up. I was so confused," she laughed. "Alex has this dark brown hair and you look at me and I'm a brunette. And we both have brown eyes. So she came out the total opposite and I was confused. But I looked at you and I know now where she gets it from."

"She looks like my mom. That nose… That's the Karev nose," Amber sniffed. She wasn't even attempting to hide her tears anymore. "She's gorgeous. She's beautiful. Can I meet her? Would that be okay with you?"

"Of course." Jo wiped more tears away and scrolled to the left on her phone again. "One more. This is Alexander Joseph. Baby Alex...he'll be one in June. He looks big there but he's even bigger in person. Boy likes to eat."

A tear-filled "aww" escaped Amber's mouth before she clamped her hand over it and allowed her tears to take over. She couldn't believe it. Had Alex really kept two kids from her too? Two beautiful kids, too. She sniveled and wiped her eyes.

"...He looks just like Alex did when he was a baby. You know Alex was fat in grade school? Yep. You should see his baby pictures. He was born chubby and never lost it. He was just a chubby kid… Just like him." She took Jo's phone and held it closer to her face. "He's precious… Oh Jo, I'd love to meet them. Please let me meet them… Please."

"The baby is actually downstairs in the daycare, but they don't usually let adults come in and out so getting him would be a bit of a hassle. And Lyla's in school until 3:15…" Amber's shoulders slouched in defeat. Jo looked at her pager and sighed when she saw that she had a consult to do. "...I'm so sorry Amber, but I've… I've gotta go. I have a patient down in the ER and…" She saw the sadness on Amber's face and thought quickly on her feet. "What time does your flight leave tomorrow?"

"10:00… In the morning."

"Great. Okay so… What about dinner? Tonight? I won't tell Alex you're coming until he gets home so he won't have a choice but to be there. That way you don't have to sit here and wait for him when he could be in surgery for a while. You can just come to dinner tonight."

"Tonight? Got it."

"Yeah. Um… 1207 Breckner. It's a loft…here, just put your number in my phone. I'll text you the address. And I'll see you tonight? At 5:30?"

"Sounds like a plan."


	3. Chapter 3

Mumbling profanities under his breath, Alex fumbled around with the keys on his keychain in an attempt to find the one that would unlock the door. He frustratedly kicked off his shoes and shoved them to the side. His hair dripped into his eyes and his feet were cold and wet from the soggy, rain-drenched socks he wore on his feet. Today was shaping up to be a bad day. He didn't lose any patients today and usually, that in itself was enough to make his day a good one but not today.

Everything that could go wrong today did. He botched a simple bowel repair and ended up having to take out the kid's spleen after he accidentally nicked it, he spilled coffee all over the front of his pants, there was mold on his bread at lunch, and his car's battery died in the parking lot, which meant he couldn't leave until Jackson had come out to give him a jump. And now, the rain had soaked clear to the soles of his feet.

His day couldn't get any worse and the highlight of his day was now, being at home. All he wanted to do was sit down, eat whatever meal Jo had defrosted and stuck into the oven and maybe watch a movie with his kids. Yeah, that's what he needed. He needed movie time with Lyla and little Alex. That always put him in a good mood. It was hard to be in a bad one when Lyla was trying to put pig tails in his hair while Alex laid on his chest and jabbered at him.

He yanked the door to the loft open and as soon as his feet set foot on the plush carpet that he and Jo had installed when Lyla was old enough to crawl around, he pulled his socks off. As usual, Jo was standing at the stove, wearing a pair of jeans and a plain white v-neck t-shirt. Her hair was done differently than it was the last time he saw her this morning and he took a moment to admire it. He loved her hair. It was one of his favorite things about her, but she had it straight as a pin and he was a bit taken aback by how long it was. He grinned at the thought of how beautiful she was and threw his socks into the garbage can before walking over to her.

"What's for dinner?" he wrapped his arms around her waist and pressed his lips to her cheek as he looked down into the pot that she was stirring. "Spaghetti?"

"Yeah," Jo smiled and tapped the spoon on the side of the pot to prevent excess liquid from dropping off when she took it out. She turned to face him and rose up on her tiptoes, tilting her head back for a kiss. Alex pecked his lips to hers and gave her a chaste kiss. "Mmm," Jo smiled again. "How was your day?"

"It was alright," he shrugged. "Could've been better, could've been worse." He kissed her one more time before pulling away and heading for the refrigerator. "Where are the kids?"

"Bub's taking a nap. Ly's supposed to be cleaning her room." Jo hoisted herself up and sat down on the counter, swinging her foot. "Did anybody come visit you at the hospital today?" she asked, watching him chug straight from the carton of the baby's apple juice with a disgusted look on her face.

"No," he swallowed. "Like who?" He licked his lips and belched as he screwed the lid back on the carton.

"...Nobody, nothing," she shook her head. She sighed. She chickened out of telling him. She didn't want to tell him, but she knew she had to. It would be worse if she didn't and just let Amber blindside him by showing up at the doorstep. She cleared her throat, "You should really go get out of those clothes before you get sick. You're soaked."

"Why are you deflecting? What did you do?" Alex shifted his balance onto his back leg and tilted his head. "What'd you do, Jo?"

"Nothing. It's not that big of a deal. I just think you should go change your clothes," she explained, glancing at the clock. 5:04. 26 more minutes until Amber came over for dinner. "I'll tell you after you change your clothes. Go change. You're soaked."

"Alright," Alex mumbled and shut the fridge. "Don't burn the sauce like you did last month."

"That was last month!"

"It was still burnt," he shrugged and walked out of the kitchen.

Jo took a deep breath as she watched him pad down the hallway to their bedroom and ran her fingers through her hair. She knew she had to tell him but she just didn't know how. Clearly Amber had taken her advice when she told her to go back to her hotel to get some rest or go sightseeing. Alex said nobody had come to visit him, which meant that Amber truly did leave after Jo had to. She just didn't know how to spring it on him. She couldn't just say "hey Alex, I met your sister at the hospital this afternoon and invited her to come over for dinner", could she? She sighed again at her inability to tell him what she needed to and hopped down off the counter so she could continue dinner.

Alex wandered down the hallway and banked a left into the bathroom. He opened the cabinet, grabbed one of the clean towels from the top shelf and rubbed it across his head to dry his hair off. He flicked the light switch up to turn the light on and turned around so he could look in the mirror while he was brushed his hair. As he went to grab the comb, something he saw from the corner of his eye caught his attention and made him suck his teeth.

"Lyla!" he yelled, turning his head toward the door so his voice projected better. "LY! IN HERE, NOW!"

"Comin'!" Lyla called from the opposite end of the loft. Back in her room, she dropped one of her Monster High dolls and ran full-speed to where her dad was calling her from. "What, Daddy?" she tilted her head upward and looked at Alex's face. She shrunk when she saw that he had his "angry face" on.

"How many times do me and Mommy have to tell you to flush the toilet after you're done goin' poop? I told you, nobody wants to walk into the bathroom and see your floaters. It's nasty. Next time I come in here and have to look at your crap, I'm gonna beat you up. Now flush the toilet and wash your hands," Alex motioned to the sink with his head.

"Ooops," Lyla sheepishly bowed her head and scurried over to the toilet while her cheeks flushed bright red with embarrassment. "Sorry. I forgets sometimes." She put the toilet seat down and flushed it, pulling up her sleeves so she could wash her hands.

Alex gently combed his fingers through her silky golden brown hair and smirked to himself. He thought it was funny how he could yell at her for forgetting to flush the toilet but still love her enough to really not care that he had to look at her business when she forgot. Lyla stood on her tiptoes and rubbed the soap in her hands while her father continued to rub her hair.

"Why're you still in your school clothes, punk? Did Mommy forget to take them off?" he asked, referring to the cheetah print leggings and white sweater Jo had stuck on her this morning. Jo was very particular about Lyla's clothes though. Usually she took them off as soon as Lyla got home from school so she didn't ruin them.

"No," Lyla shook her head and her hands free of the water. "Mumma said I should keep them on 'cause I have to look nice for Aunt Ambuh."

"For who?" Alex's eyebrow raised.

"Aunt Ambuh. 'Cause she's comin' to dinner."

"She's what? Who told you that? How do you know about Aunt Amber?!"

"Mumma," Lyla shrugged and wiped her hands on the seat of her leggings.

Alex bit his lip and sat on that thought for a moment. Is that what Jo had to tell him? Something about Amber? He turned to the door, storming out of the bathroom without even bothering to turn out the light.

"Jo?!" he stomped to the kitchen. "Jo?!"

Still standing at the stove, Jo's shoulders slouched and her heart sank. She wasn't stupid, and she was able to put two and two together. Lyla had just come from the bathroom, where she knew Alex was. And her six year old had the loosest lips she knew. She was sure Lyla had told him in some way or another.

"Alex," she put down the spoon again and held her hands up. "I-"

"No! You don't get to talk!" he interrupted her. "When were you going to tell me?! When she showed up at the damn door?! WHAT DID YOU DO?!"

"I didn't do anything! She-" she stopped herself once she saw the black blanket on the couch stir and move around. She listened for whimpers that she didn't find and took a relaxed breath. "Lower your tone and I'm going to lower mine. Because if he wakes up, you and I both know that he's going to be a nightmare." Alex nodded his head in agreement. "I didn't do anything, Alex. She came to the hospital looking for you today and I ran into her and-"

"Bull," Alex mumbled, struggling to maintain his calm tone. "That's bull. She didn't just show up. When'd you call her?"

"She really did! She just showed up! She was arguing with the nurses that refused to page you and I just-"

"Right," he snickered. "And you just so happened to know she was my sister from her looks, right? You never laid eyes on the girl but you knew who she was. You expect me to buy that?"

Jo tilted her head and narrowed her eyes. "...Are you kidding me? How could I have NOT known who she was? She turned around and Alex, I felt like somebody slapped me in my face. Lyla looks just like her. The blonde hair and the blue eyes...they're twins…"

"I told you Ly looked like 'er," he rubbed the bridge of his nose.

Jo closed her eyes and willed herself to keep her tears in her eyes. It was still so surreal for her to see someone that looked so much like her child. She, herself, didn't look like anybody she knew. She was sure that she had a mother out there with brunette hair and brown eyes and a father with the same. She probably looked a whole lot like her parents but she had gone through all 35 years of her life without ever looking like anybody. But her daughter did. Her daughter looked like somebody and belonged to a family. A family with an aunt, an uncle and a grandmother. Her children had family...family that looked like them. Alex had told her that many times before. When Lyla first opened her eyes after they laid her on her chest and revealed to them that they were a shocking grayish color, he told her then that his sister was born with those same eyes. And again when Lyla was two months old and her brown hair began to lighten and turn blonde, he told her that his sister had that same blonde hair. But it was so much more shocking for her to actually see it.

"So you just thought it was okay to invite her over for dinner?" Alex started again. His voice was laced with irritation and Jo could tell by the way his face was reddening that he was undeniably angry with her. "What the hell were you thinking?"

"She flew all the way from Iowa just to see you. _Iowa_. I was thinking that I wasn't about to let her leave without seeing you. 24 years?!" The black blanket on the couch stirred again so she quieted her voice to a harsh whisper. "The last time she saw you, she was ten. 24 years Alex?! She hasn't seen you in 24 years?! You haven't called her or anything in 24 freakin' years?!"

"So?!"

"So?! So she's your sister! She's your sister and she wants a relationship with you! I sat and talked to her for a really long time today and-"

"You did WHAT?!"

"I talked to her! She deserved at least that!"

"So she knows who you are?" he put his hands on his hips. "She knows that I'm married… What about them? About Lyla and Alex? She know about them?"

"Of course I told her that she had a niece and a nephew!"

Alex closed his eyes and turned away from Jo. He wanted to grab the pot of spaghetti sauce on the stove and throw it. He wanted to kick the trashcan over, to punch a hole in the wall or through the countertop. But he had two small children in the house to think about. He clenched his jaw together and took a few deep, steadying breaths.

"Alex…" Jo took a few steps toward him and kept the tone of her voice soft. "Alex, she's your sister. She just wants a relationship with you. I thought you'd feel better if maybe-"

"So you made the decision for me. Once again. You made the decision for me, even though it has nothing to do with you. You thought it was alright to call the shots AGAIN. You thought you would've learned the lesson the first time."

"I never had-"

"I know!" Alex slammed his fist down on the countertop and immediately regretted it as soon as the pounding noise it made startled the baby on the couch awake. He clenched his teeth together and looked at Jo. "You never had a family. I get it. But that doesn't mean you need to stick your nose into mine. Butt out, Jo. It's not your business."

Jo shook her head and hurried to the living room, over to the couch that little Alex was sleeping on. The baby sat up wide-eyed and chubby-cheeked with his wavy brown hair sticking up on all ends. As soon as he saw his Mommy, he poked his bottom lip out and held up his arms.

"Hi Bubby," she whispered to him and grunted when she picked his hefty little body up off the couch. She pressed her lips to his cheek and cradled his head in her hand. "Did you have a nice nap? Yeah… Sorry 'bout all that yellin' wakin' you up. Let Mommy change your butt."

"Hey Bud," Alex walked over to where Jo and his son stood and held his hands out to take him. "Lemme change him...you finish dinner."

"Fine," Jo sighed and passed the baby off to him. "...And for the record, Alex… It _is_ my business. The second you got me pregnant, it became my business. Your family is my babies' family. _Especially_ when your sister is my daughter's twin. I want them to have their aunt in their life. So yeah...it is my business."

* * *

Lyla grunted as she carefully carried the stack of glass plates over to the table. She stood on her tiptoes and placed them neatly on the tabletop, turning around and smacking her hands together as if she was dusting them off after doing a long day's work. She skipped back to the kitchen and stood beside her mother, placing her hands on the countertop and peering at the cake she was icing.

"Mommy?" she looked away from the slather of chocolate icing and up at Jo. "Mommy, what's an Aunt Ambuh?"

"Aunt Amber is Daddy's sister," Jo stuck the butter knife back into the jar of icing and bent down to pick her daughter up. "You wanna help me decorate the cake?" Lyla nodded her head. "Alright, here," Jo handed her the small container of rainbow sprinkles. "Sprinkle them on there for me."

"You forgetted to take the store sticker off it, Mumma," Lyla noted, pointing to the bakery label sticking off the bottom of the cake pan. She knew her Mommy didn't bake the cake. All she did was put icing on it and sprinkles. Mommy couldn't make cake. She tried but it was never very yummy, so she usually just bought it from the store. "Why I have to meet Aunt Ambuh? She might not even like me much, right?"

"She'll love you." Jo adjusted the hold on her six year old and scooted her up on her hip. "She's your aunt and she's really looking forward to meeting you and Ally. I promise she'll love you." Lyla put the sprinkles on the counter and buried her face in Jo's neck. "Are you nervous? Don't be nervous, baby. Don't be shy. She'll be nice."

"If she's Daddy's sissy then she's a real Aunt Ambuh, huh? Not like Aunt Zona or Aunt Meredif. A real Aunt Ambuh?"

"Uh-huh," Jo nodded and handed her daughter the butter knife with the chocolate icing on it, letting her lick it clean. "She's your real aunt. You remember what Mommy told you? About real family and not real family?"

"Bilegical family?"

"That's right, biological family," Jo giggled. "Aunt Amber's your biological family. Which means what?"

"We got blood together….cause her is related like me and Ally."

"That's right," Jo rested her cheek against Lyla's head and inhaled the scent of her strawberry-scented Disney Princess shampoo. _She has biological family_ , she thought to herself. _Someone with the same flesh and blood as her._ "Will you go set up the table for me?" Lyla nodded her head. "Thank you," she leaned down and deposited Lyla safely on the ground. "Gimme kiss," she puckered her lips. "Chocolate kiss."

Lyla pecked her mother on the lips and obediently went back to the table to put a plate at each placemat.

Fastening up the last two buttons on his shirt, Alex shuffled into the kitchen and looked around. Jo was taking the garlic bread from the oven, the baby was sitting on the floor contentedly playing with one of Lyla's headbands and Lyla was meticulously setting the table. He walked briskly over to the mirror to adjust his shirt collar, but in his haste, his hip bumped Lyla and caused the forks she had in her hand to go tumbling to the ground.

"Dammit, Lyla!"

"Sorry Daddy, I was just-"

"Watch where you're freakin-"

"Don't yell at her for your mistake," Jo walked over to the carnage and bent down to help Lyla pick it up. "Just go away Alex...go sit in the living room. Don't yell at her because you're stressed. You bumped into her."

Alex sighed, took Jo's advice and sat down on the couch. He stared blankly at the powerless TV and lost himself deep in his thoughts.

He wasn't ready for Amber to see this. Sure, he had a beautiful family. He had a beautiful wife that was a loving, doting mother and a supportive partner. He had a daughter that was so aesthetically beautiful that she could walk into a modeling audition and book it on the spot. And he had a lovable baby son that had a smile that lit up the room and the ability to melt even the coldest of hearts. He had everything he had ever wanted, and then some. But he wasn't ready for Amber to see it. He wasn't ready for Amber to see what he had made his life into. He wasn't ready for the guilt to eat him alive.

What was she going to look like? He hadn't seen her since she was ten. Last time he laid eyes on her, her blonde hair was waist-length and she was tiny and scrawny. She looked eerily similar to the six year old that was currently preoccupied with making sure the forks were absolutely straight the last time he saw her. What if she changed? What if her hair wasn't blonde anymore? What if she had fallen down the wrong path and let the addiction gene that ran so rampant on the Evans side of their family take over? What if she was a drugged out mess? Came here to ask for money? Or worse than that, what if she was mad? Mad at him for leaving her? Because he could've taken her in. In fact, he should've. He shouldn't have gone straight to college. He was eighteen and she was ten. He legally could've taken care of her. But he didn't. He chose school. He chose college over his baby sister and worse than her showing up being an addict, she could show up angry. God, why did Jo do this?

Startled out of his thoughts, he jumped when he heard the loud, boisterous knocking on the loft's door. His breath caught in his throat as his head instinctively turned and he looked at the door. He had taken a shower. He showered, put deodorant on, put on clean clothes and even sprayed himself with cologne. But he was sweating. He didn't know what else to do, so he stood. He wiped his sweaty hands on his jeans and looked around nervously. He spotted the baby still sitting on the floor with his attention on the headband. It was better than being alone when she came in.

As Jo hurried to go answer the door, Alex nearly ran over to baby Alex and scooped him up a little too quickly. With his brows wrinkled in slight irritation, baby Alex looked down at the floor where his headband toy laid and back at his father. Alex pressed a kiss to his son's temple and shifted him onto his hip.

The door slid open and though Alex felt like he was going to pass out, he managed to halfway listen as Jo gave an enthusiastic "Hey!" before stepping aside. Somewhere between "I'm glad you found it alright" and "take your shoes off here", Alex stopped listening. He stopped looking. Instead, he swayed from side to side as if he was soothing the baby, who wasn't even crying, and looked at the floor. This was it. After 24 years, this was it. He hadn't seen his baby sister since she was a measly ten years old. She was a woman now. And he didn't know what to expect.

"Yeah, it's not much and...probably not the best place to raise two kids, but Alex and I bought it a while ago when we were still just dating and we brought Lyla home to it and we just couldn't part with it. So we just had it renovated time and time again. This carpet wasn't here, we had to hook up a gas line for the stove, walls put up for the bedrooms…," Jo smiled as she gave Amber a very brief rundown of the loft. She folded the damp jacket that Amber had given her and placed it on the end table beside the door.

"It's beautiful, and I'm not just saying that. It's homely. It's small and compact. I like it," Amber looked around before she rounded the corner. She wasn't lying. She did like the loft. Something about it felt very...Alex to her. The brick walls, the old, rustic feel to it...it was so very her brother.

"Thank you," Jo blushed. "I told the kids all about you and they're so excited...well, at least Lyla is. Alex just kind of smiled."

Amber laughed and followed Jo around the corner, thrusting her into what was officially the loft. The kitchen, the living room and the tiny dining area. Not just the hallway and place where you hang your coat. The actual loft. She wanted to look around and make herself more familiar with the place her brother lived in, but she couldn't. Her eyes stopped immediately at him. He was standing near the stove with a baby in his arms. With a _baby_...in his arms. He was taller than she'd remembered. Fatter, too. But he was him. He was Alex. His eyes still retained that devilish, childlike innocence and his hair was just as wild and unruly as it was when he would pick out her school clothes. He was Alex...yet somehow, he felt like a stranger.

Alex just stared at her, speechless and motionless. He didn't blink, didn't move, didn't even breathe. She was there. After 24 years, she was there. In the flesh. How was it that 24 years later, she still looked the same? Taller, yes. Curvier, yes. But she looked the same. Her eyes were still the same turquoise shade he admired when she laid next to him and fell asleep, her hair was still the same beautiful shade of blonde that would hypnotize him if he looked at it for too long while trying to braid, and her smile was a little less toothless this time, but still wide enough to swallow her whole face.

He thought that looking at Lyla every day would've prepared him for this. He knew that eventually he'd come face to face with his sister again, and he figured he'd be strong enough from having so many years of looking at his own daughter as practice. But nothing prepared him for this. Nothing prepared him from the overwhelming feeling of love, the sinking feeling of regret and the consuming guilt that ran through his body like a hurricane on the Kansas plains.

"...Ally?" she whispered his name as if saying it would somehow make him evaporate into a dream-induced puff of smoke.

"Hey Ambs," Alex mumbled. He felt tears forming behind his eyes but he hardened his jaw. He wasn't going to cry.

Overcome with emotion, Amber barreled over to her brother, much to his surprise. Reflexively, Alex secured the baby with his one arm and brought the other one up to reciprocate the hug when Amber threw herself against him. Her face buried in the crook of his neck and her tears seeping through the collar of his shirt, Amber's body trembled as the sobs rocked her body. With his vision blurred by tears, Alex licked his lips and pursed them together hard, looking at Jo. Jo's arms were folded across her chest and she too looked as if she was going to cry. Alex swallowed hard and managed to keep his tears at bay as he tightened his arm around her and squeezed his sister tight.

Amber sniveled and finally loosened her grip on him, coming back down to regular level from standing on her tiptoes. She wiped her eyes hard and cracked the most honest, genuine smile that Alex had ever seen anyone smile in his life. She wiped her nose with the back of her palm and smoothed her thick blonde hair back.

"And who's this?" Still smiling, she turned her attention to the chubby-cheeked baby that was residing in her brother's arms and giving the most drippy, goofy grin she had ever seen. It was the same grin that was frozen in a picture frame and plastered on the all-white wall above her mother's television set in her hospital room.

Still processing every emotion that he felt, Alex's mouth hung open and he couldn't find the words to say that the baby was his son. Understanding that he needed a moment, Jo sauntered over and placed her hand in the middle of Alex's back in a gentle notion.

"This is Alex," she explained. She picked up the baby's arm and forced him to to hold it out to Amber.

Baby Alex stared at the woman and inquisitively poked his lip out. She looked like someone he knew, but he just couldn't put his finger on it. Did "La" get bigger? Was this still the same person that forced him to wear bonnets and tiaras, stole his toys sometimes and tickled his belly even when he didn't want to be tickled? It looked like her but she was… She was different.

"La," he cooed, leaning forward with his arms out. "La. La."

Jo laughed, "No, Bubby. That's not La… That's Aunt Amber. Say 'Auntie'... Auntie," she tried. Amber looked at her with permission-asking eyes and Jo shrugged and shook her head. "Go ahead, I don't mind."

Amber graciously took the baby from Alex's arms and held him against her chest. She looked at him with the utmost awe in her eyes. She couldn't believe how much he resembled her brother's baby pictures. From the chubbiness of his cheeks, the off-white complexion of his skin, the contour of his eyebrows and the rounded shape of his eyes. He looked so much like his father that it made her want to burst into tears all over again. His name suited him well. He was a baby Alex Karev.

"Hello… Hi, little Alex… Hi." She rubbed his back and caressed his cheek. "I'm your auntie… You're so precious," she planted a kiss on his cheek. "Oh my goodness… As if one Alex Karev wasn't enough… Now we've two," she sniffed back tears, smiled at the baby and gently bounced him up and down. "Your grandma would love you. Yep. She would love you. She would love your sweet little self."

"La!" Baby Alex tilted his head back and giggled before placing his hands on Amber's cheeks.

Alex blinked a few times and swallowed hard to lubricate his throat. Seeing his sister with his son was….amazing, to say the least. He had to admit to himself that it was a site he thought he might never see. Now that he had seen it, it was something for sure. And he didn't realize until she said it, just how much he'd appreciate his mother holding his son the exact same way. He blinked again, this time to collect his thoughts and bring his mind back to reality. He cleared his throat and looked around.

"Ly," he called towards the side of the counter that Lyla was hiding behind. Ironically enough, as much as his daughter was a bit of a brat, she was equally as shy around new people. Lyla would rather crawl up in a ball and hide than socialize with new people and some people perceived that as bratty. Now, she was a brat from having been spoiled and doted upon by Alex and Jo as an only child for five years, but when she refused to talk, it wasn't brattiness. It was shyness. "Ly, come here… Come here. I've got someone we want you to meet." Lyla peeked out from behind the counter and shook her head. "Come here, punk. Come on. She wants to meet you. Just come to me. Come to Daddy."

Lyla peered around the corner again and looked at her father. She took a deep breath and slowly emerged from behind the counter with her head down. Alex swiftly picked her up and put her on his hips.

"And Ambs, this is Lyla… My daughter," he finally introduced the two.

When Amber set eyes on the little girl, her jaw dropped. She saw a picture of her on Jo's phone and she was prepared. She knew what she was going to look at when she walked in here. But seeing her in person… Seeing her in person was a totally different thing altogether. Seeing Lyla made hatred and sadness bury themselves inside her body. Hatred, because how could he? How could he keep his children-her niece and nephew-from her, especially when her niece looked like this? They were family. It was blatantly obvious. And sadness, because she didn't know her. She looked so much like she did and she knew nothing about her.

"She looks…," Amber whispered, staring at Lyla in mesmerization.

"Like you," Alex finished her sentence. "I know… I've been looking at you for the past six years, Amb."

"He always told me that you two looked alike but I didn't understand it. I just thought he was saying that 'cause she's a little blondie like you," Jo ran her fingers through Lyla's hair. "But no, you really look like each other."

"Hi Lyla." Not ready to give him up just yet, Amber shifted the baby onto her hip and took a step toward Lyla. "Are you shy?" Lyla nodded her head and squeezed her arms around Alex's neck. "Your Mommy told me you were excited to meet me though… I'm excited to meet you."

"Tell her hi, Bubbles," Jo encouraged. Amber's eyes narrowed in confusion and Jo nodded. "I call her 'Bubbles'...she used to blow spit bubbles at me every time I changed her diaper and it just stuck."

With a nudge from her father, Lyla spoke up. "Hi," she buried her face in Alex's shoulder and blushed.

"Tell her what you told me, baby." Jo rubbed her back. "Tell her what you said when we were standing over there…tell her."

"...I like your hair," Lyla whispered. "It's like mine."

"It is, isn't it?" Amber smiled and carefully picked up the six year old's hand. Being a trained psychiatrist, she knew how to handle shy children. The key was to avoid overwhelming them. She stroked her thumb along Lyla's tiny fingers and admired the way her nails were nearly painted pink. "You know… Everyone's been saying how much you look like me…" Lyla turned her head and faced her aunt. "But I only wish I was as pretty as you are."

Lyla cracked a smile. She was beginning to like her new "bilegical" aunt.


	4. Chapter 4

With sweat lining the palms of his hands and a knot deep in the pit of his stomach, Alex tossed the couch pillow towards the middle cushion and took a seat at the far end of it. He bawled his hand up into a fist and rested his elbow against the arm of the couch, feigning attentiveness on the loveseat across from where he sat but ultimately having his mind lost in the deep sea of his thoughts.

He stared intently at his sister, who seemed too preoccupied with the baby on her chest to even notice that he had entered the room. The television was powered off, both the kids were relatively silent and the only noise he could hear was the water hitting the bottom of the sink as Jo stood in the kitchen with Lyla and washed dinner's dishes.

Dinner had gone off without a hitch and without so much as a single disagreement, but still, Alex was nauseous. On more than one occasion tonight, he had taken the time to stare and refamiliarize himself with his sister's features. Her hair was the same shade of blonde that he remembered and her eyes were the same piercing blue. Her voice retained the sweet innocence he left her with, and he was pleased to see that she grew up rather mild-mannered.

He knew that was he was looking at was his sister. He had spent the last six years of his life looking at her every time he looked at his daughter. He sat across from her at the table while they ate dinner and even then, he couldn't help but think about how pretty she turned out to be. He always thought she was pretty, even when she was little. She looked just like the Amber he remembered, just older. But somehow, when he looked at her now, as she sat across from him on the loveseat, he couldn't shake feeling as though he was looking at her when she was younger. He couldn't shake hearing her crying. He couldn't stop himself from going back…

 _His hands ache, but he can't stop. His vision is blurred by tears, but he can't stop. He doesn't feel like himself, but he can't stop. The rage that courses through his body is white hot, burning and dispersed without; as if someone drained his blood and replaced it with boiling, blind fury. It's like a pot of water, the pot of water that had laid dormant in the bottom of his stomach for years, was set on. The stove was ignited, the bottom of the pot got hot and now it's boiling over. He's lost control, but he can't stop. Not whenever there's visions in his head._

 _Low, agonized groans escape from the mouth that belongs to the person beneath him and for a split second, he snaps back into himself. He blinks his tears back and looks into the eyes that are staring up at him. Powder blue eyes, wrinkled around the corners from years of laughing with sunken in, deep purple bags underneath them. Bags that are narcotic-induced, bags that cannot be cured with sleep. The eyes belonged to the person that wore them, but skipped a generation as he gave them to his siblings, but not to him._

 _He should stop. He knows he should. He's not this person. He's not the person that flies into a blind rage and doesn't stop until he's satisfied. He is not a murderer. He is not him. But he can't stop, so maybe he is like him after all. He locks his hands around his throat and presses down so hard with his thumbs that his arms tremble._

 _Even through all the deep, crimson blood dripping from the nose and pooling around the ears, he can see the color draining from the face to a lifeless grayish color. A pair of hands desperately reach up. The hands are struggling, are pushing against his face, are within an inch of life. That should make him ease up a bit, but it doesn't. Instead, it makes him lean forward and rest all his weight on the neck. The hands deadly slump to the side and the eyes, the ones that were looking up at him, drift to a close. He doesn't know how to stop. Nothing can stop him. He won't stop until death has set in._

 _In the corner of his eye, he can see something pink emerging, dragging across the rundown tile kitchen floor. It comes closer until it stops and he can see the shapes of Sesame Street characters patterned all over pink pants. A baggy, oversized white t-shirt hangs down in his vision too and the thing that cuts through his hearing is a loud, mortified screech._

 _"Daddy!"_

 _His hands don't ache as much as they did. His grip is loosening. He can see clearer, his tears must've fallen. What is he doing?_

 _"Ally, stop it!"_

 _Miniature hands place themselves on his back and begin tapping him very gently. Terrified wails fill the room and though he can only see legs in his peripheral vision, he can see that those legs are trembling._

 _"Ally! Ally, stop! Kay? Stop!"_

 _It's like a switch was flipped. The stove's power was cut, and the water that was once boiling has inherently fizzled completely out. It wasn't even so much simmering anymore. He took his hands away from the neck-his father's neck-and climbed off his body as quickly as he could. His eyes immediately went to the little girl that was standing beside him and instantly, his heart sank. What did he do? What had he let her see him do? He let her see him act like a monster, how could he?_

 _She stood with her back against the wall, her hands clamped tightly over her face. Her blonde pigtails, tied back with rubber bands, hung low and dripped down her back and her white t-shirt, stained with grape juice, hung loosely off one shoulder._

 _Completely undermining the lifeless heap of skin, clothes and drug-infused blood lying on the floor where he just got up, he quickly stumbled over to the little girl and knelt down to her level._

 _"Amber… Come here… Come here," he made his voice as gentle as possible and held out a hand. "Come here."_

How was she the same person? The person that was scared of him when she watched him nearly murder their father, but still found enough strength in her tiny little body to make him stop. She was the only person in the world that could've made him stop and she did. She was the only person that kept him from committing a murder. How was she the same person now than she was back then?

Truthfully, he had made a mental note to thank Jo. As much as he hated her for blindsiding him and once again, taking it upon herself to force a relationship with his family, he was also thankful. The truth of the matter was that had Jo not invited Amber to dinner, he might've gone the rest of his life without seeing her. He never realized just how much he did want to see her until she was standing in their loft. He didn't realize how much he wanted his kids to know her until he saw her laughing with Lyla and doting on little Alex. He'd never give Jo the satisfaction of knowing just how much, but he was grateful nonetheless.

Reluctantly looking up from the baby, who laid peacefully asleep on her chest, Amber softly cleared her throat and extended a smile in her brother's direction.

"So…," she started, the tone of her voice just barely above a whisper to avoid waking the baby. "Just how did you convince Jo that one Alex Karev wasn't enough?"

Alex smirked and blew air out through his nose, snickering. "It was a compromise. He's not a junior, so that was our bargain." He ran his fingers through his hair and half-smiled at the way his sister was so naturally holding his son. "Good luck putting him down though. He'll never let you."

Amber giggled and looked down at her nephew. "Not a problem… I don't ever want to." Slowly, she began swaying from side to side and stroking baby Alex's hand with her thumb. "He looks just like you…," she leaned down and pressed her lips to the middle of the baby's forehead. "Mom would love him, you know… She'd love her too," she motioned towards the kitchen.

Alex sighed. He knew it was only a matter of time before they got into this, but he was hoping that they wouldn't get into it at all. He just didn't want to hear about his mom. He knew he was wrong for keeping Lyla and Alex away...he didn't need her to reiterate it.

"How uh…," he coughed into his fist. "Is mom?"

"She's okay," Amber looked up at him and nodded. She nestled her finger in the palm of Alex's hand and brought it up to her mouth. "She's doing very well. Her meds are working, she's lucid most of the time… She asks about you." Alex raised his eyebrows. "Yeah. You know Alex… I know it was easy for you to just move out here and forget about us, but we never forgot about you. Of course she asks about you, don't act so surprised."

Alex sighed again and swallowed a lump. How was he to explain to her, after 24 years, why he never came back? He couldn't even explain it to himself. He wiped the palms of his hands on the knees of his jeans and shifted uncomfortably. He didn't know what else to say, so he just remained silent.

"...Aaron's okay too," Amber said. Alex's eyes flickered back up to him as he gave her his attention again. It was like she had read his mind. He was wondering about his brother too. Amber nodded again. "They got him on a good dose and he's-"

"Daddy! Daddy!" Lyla ran frantically into the kitchen, her hands still dripping from having helped her mother with the dishes, and jumped on the couch next to Alex. "Daddy, I can show Aunt Ambuh my room and all my toys and me and her can play, okay?"

Alex shoved his hands underneath Lyla's armpits and hoisted her up. "I don't think Aunt Amber has time to play with you, punk. She's gotta get going. It's getting late."

Lyla's face fell and her bottom lip slid out from underneath her top one. She was leaving already?! Why?! She just got here! When was she going to see Aunt Amber again?!

"You leavin' already?" the six year old wriggled out of her father's grasp and bounded over to the loveseat. "You not stayin?"

Amber took one arm away from supporting the sleeping baby and wrapped it around Lyla's shoulders. She didn't want to leave either, but Alex was right. It was going on 9:00. She had been at the loft for almost four hours and she needed to head back to her hotel so she could be up in time to catch her early flight back to Iowa tomorrow morning. It was almost cruel to leave. She had just bonded with baby Alex and she and Lyla were getting along, and she had to leave. She reasoned that had she known that Alex had children, she would've arranged to stay longer than just one day. She was eager to get to know her niece and nephew.

"No, I'm not staying, Lyla Love." She combed her fingers through Lyla's matching blonde hair and gave her an easy smile. "I've gotta go back home. Remember how I told you I don't live here?"

Lyla nodded and sighed. "You live in Eye-wa. But it not fair. I just got to meet you now today and you leavin' already."

"She'll be back," Alex interjected. Amber's head snapped up and she looked at him. She studied his face for a hint of faltering. He had to be lying, right? She was invited back? Alex nodded his head. "Aunt Amber will be back to visit us eventually, alright punk? You gotta let her go now."

"Are you gonna drive her back to the hotel?" Drying her hands on the dish towel, Jo sauntered into the living room and sat on the arm of the couch. "You're not gonna make her call a cab, are you?"

"Nah, I'm gonna drive her," Alex stood up and stretched his arms out, feigning a yawn. "You ready Ambs?"

"Not exactly, but I'll never be ready to leave them," she mumbled but stood up anyway. Jo hurried over to where she stood and graciously took the baby from her arms. Amber sucked her teeth and tilted her head. "Aww, bye my little Alex… Bye bye," she kissed him on his cheek as he laid asleep on Jo's shoulder and sighed heavily. "I want lots of pictures, Jo. Lots of pictures."

"Will do," Jo promised. "I promise I'll send you some every day."

Next, Amber turned to Lyla and bent down to pick her up. She shifted Lyla onto her hip and turned her head to look at her. "Make sure you make your Daddy FaceTime me, Lyla Love. And I wanna hear all about that spelling test you have on Monday, got it?" Lyla nodded her head quickly and wrapped her arms around Amber's neck in a hug. "I'll see you later, sweetie. Okay? I'll see you later. Can I have a kiss?" Lyla nodded again and let her aunt kiss her cheek. "I'll miss you."

"I miss you too, Aunt Ambuh."

* * *

The car slowly rolled to a stop as Alex eased down on the brake and slowly brought his hand over to the gearshift. He shifted it into "park" and took his hands off the steering wheel, staring out through the dashboard. Raindrops trickled down the window and the more he looked at them, the more he couldn't help but think they looked like tears. The way they slowly rolled down and traced a straight line. Maybe it was a sign. That soon enough, he'd be crying himself. That he had held in enough tears today and it was time to let them fall. He was going to let them fall. Not in front of Amber, though. Maybe in front of Jo a little later.

"Uh…," he stammered. "I-I guess I'll see you later, Ambs." Refusing to look at his sister while tears lined the rims of his eyes, Alex leaned to the side and slid his hand down into his pocket. "Here," he mumbled, opening up his wallet. "Take-"

"I don't want your money, Alex," Amber pushed his hand away and shook her head. "You can keep it. I don't need it."

"Amb-"

"I don't need your money!" She slammed her fist down on the airbag and took a deep breath after doing so to calm herself down. Taken aback, Alex just slowly closed his wallet back up and retracted his offer. Just like he would whenever he was upset about something and trying to mask it, Amber snickered and cracked a smile. "You think handing me money and sending me on my way is going to fix everything… As if the buckets of money you've been sending to Mom for years means anything."

Alex looked down between his legs and nervously played with his wallet. Amber watched his throat bob as he swallowed and though it had been precisely 24 years since she had seen her brother, she still knew his mannerisms. The last time she saw him, she was a mere ten years old but Alex was like riding a bicycle. Once you learned him, you never forgot. Once you spoke his language, you were always fluent. He felt guilty about something and the guilt was eating him alive. To mask his guilt, he was offering her money but that was hardly what she wanted.

"All the money…," she shook her head and looked out the window as a single salty tear rolls down her cheek. "It means nothing," she whispered.

"I'm sorry, Amb," he murmured, but as he spoke the words, he knew they were weightless. They were hollow. They meant nothing. "I had… I had to come out here and-"

"Alex, I'm not saying it's wrong for you to come out here and make your own life." She swiped a tear away with the backside of her palm and turned to face her brother again. "But you could at least let us be part of it."

"It's not like I kept you from much," Alex sighed. It was his only defense. It wasn't much, it was a weak one, but it was his only defense.

"Not much?! You have a wife! And kids - _beautiful_ kids! And I had no idea about it! You left us and never called and made a family and when I came here… Alex, when I came here, I was expecting to see you happy. I was expecting to see you happily married to some blonde that Aaron told me about years ago, yes. But I never once thought that you would've kept kids from us. What do you think Mom's gonna say when I tell her that you're married with a six year old and a one year old. How do you think Aaron's gonna feel? You never think about anyone but yourself and you never did. You never thought about how much we needed you… How much _I_ needed you!" With tears rolling down her cheeks, she just kept her gaze on her brother and watched as he continued to fumble with his wallet. She shook her head as the tears continued to flow. "…And now you won't even look at me."

"I've been looking at you for the past six years," he whispered, repeating himself for the millionth time of the night. He brought his own hand up, and as he sniffed, he wiped his own stray tears and cleared his throat. "...You think I don't wanna look at you, Ambs?"

He wanted to look at his sister, he did. But he couldn't. The longest he looked at her tonight was exactly two minutes at a time. He couldn't for any longer than that. Every time he looked at her, all he saw was the same little girl that pulled him off their father. The little girl that needed him more than anyone else in the world. And when he saw that little girl, he felt like he couldn't move.

Instead of leaving, he could've taken her in. Aaron too. He was 18 when he went off to college, Aaron was 15 and Amber was 10. Legally, he was old enough to be both their guardians. But he went to college instead. He left his brother and his sister to get an education instead. And after he graduated from medical school, he moved to Seattle and never looked back. And the more years that passed, the more pointless coming back seemed.

The guilt was crippling. He couldn't look at her for fear of being overcome with it, so he didn't. He just didn't look at her. He couldn't.

"...I'm not mad at you, you know," Amber whispered, breaking the silence between them. Alex looked up. She wasn't? "We turned out okay without you and you turned out pretty good too. …Can you just tell me why?" she tilted her head. "Because I kept going over it in my head and I still don't know why. I was thinking maybe Jo's a drug addict like Dad, but she doesn't seem like one. So then I was thinking maybe your kids were adopted, but they're undeniably Karevs. So then I thought maybe you had it too… The crazy gene, I mean. I thought maybe you were a functioning schizophrenic like Mom but it's not that either. So I don't have any reasons. I can't think of any. You don't seem ashamed of Jo or the kids. You seem to be doing good for yourself. So can you tell me why? Why you kept them from us? Why you never bothered to tell us?"

Alex licked his lips and closed his eyes. He took a breath, ran his fingers through his hair and finally, turned to look at his sister.

"It seemed pointless after a while," he shrugged his shoulders. "I was gonna call on Christmases, but I didn't. I figured you wouldn't want to hear from me. I was gonna call on birthdays, but it seemed like too many had passed. I wanted to call Ambs… 'Specially when Ly came out lookin' just like you, but at the point… What was the point? At that point, you guys would've hated me anyway because I'd have to explain why there was no invite to the wedding. It just… It got outta hand and it got away from me and after a while, I just thought… That it was pointless."

Amber softened a bit at his explanation. She understood how he felt like it was pointless. It was like a lie. You feel guilty for telling it in the first place and the guilt eats you alive. But after a while, it goes away. The guilt is always there, but the lie is stale and after a while, it's pointless to the tell the truth when you've waited so long.

Amber extended her arm across the middle of the car and rested her hand on Alex's forearm. It was a simple gesture, but it spoke volumes. Alex smirked and cleared his throat for the third time.

"...I thought you forgot about me," he admitted. "You were a kid the last time you saw me. I thought for sure you forgot about me."

Amber giggled and shook her head. "How could I forget about you? I still eat peanut butter and onion sandwiches because of you!"

Alex turned his nose up and laughed the most genuine, honest laugh he had laughed in a very long time. "Those things were gross," he shook his head and held his abdomen, which ached from laughing. "It was always the only thing in the cupboard, huh? A jar of peanut butter and an onion in the fridge."

"A true five-star dinner," Amber threw her head back and in that moment, both the siblings' laughter filled the car. Amber reached up and dabbed her eyes free of tears with her thumbs and let a few more bouts of laughter slip through her closed lips. "I still eat those things…and I still can't Dutch braid my own hair…. You ever master that?"

Alex nodded his head with a grin. "...Braid Lyla's hair all the time. Her hair's a lot thicker than yours was though… The damn thing still falls apart."

"You know that's one thing Aar still talks about?" she asked, her tone way lighter. Alex raised his eyebrow. "You braiding my hair, I mean. I go see him every week and when we talk, that's one thing he likes to talk about. He likes to talk about how you used to cuss at the sky when my Dutch braid fell apart."

"...How is he?"

"He's doing well," she tucked her hair behind her ear and nodded energetically. "He's less severe than Mom. He could probably live in one of those independent living homes, but he's gotta stay in the institution… Legally. Apparently they don't take choking very lightly and he's still a risk."

Alex paused for a minute and gathered his emotions before allowing himself to speak. He remembered that day clearly. Well, he remembered getting the call. He remembered hearing about how Aaron had been diagnosed after trying to strangle their sister. "Sorry about that," he said. "That was probably scary for you… I should've been there."

"It's not your fault Mom passed the crazy down," Amber shrugged. "There's three of us and two of us turned out fine. It was bound to hit one of us."

"Guess you're right."

"We're all alright, Alex...you don't have to feel guilty for much of anything." She scooted a little closer to him and put her head on his shoulder. "It sucks that you left, but… I'm just glad you're okay. I'm glad you got everything you went after…it would've sucked if you left us and failed at what you left us for, you know?"

Alex nodded his head and rested his cheek against the top of her head. "So… Psychiatrist?"

Again, Amber giggled and nodded her head. "You know, we need somebody to balance out the crazies in this family!" Alex shook his head at her. "It's nothing compared to the hot-shot baby surgeon you became though! You make what, a few hundred thousand dollars more than me?"

"I'm also better looking…. Seems like I beat you at everything," Alex quipped. Amber swatted him with the backside of her hand and let her laugh come easily and naturally. She sighed, relishing in the moment of finally laying on her big brother again after so many years and stared right out the front window as the rain beat down. He didn't want to, but Alex broke the tender silence anyway. "Amb…You remember that day? That day that Dad left?" He knew that was a stretch. She was five when their father left them for good and she couldn't remember much from when she was five. But still, he wanted to know if she remembered.

Amber was silent for a moment. She closed her eyes and tried to envision that day. In truth, she hadn't thought about it in a really long time. She remembered having nightmares about it for a while. When she was with her foster family, they had helped her through the nightmares. She had spent so long trying to forget, though. She wanted to forget the busted lip Aaron was in the bathroom nursing while Alex killed their father. She tried to forget the breakfast cereal and milk scattered all over the floor when Jimmy had burst into his fit of rage. How scared she felt when she saw Alex, her big brother and her hero, so different and violent and animalistic. She had tried so long to forget. So long that it actually began to happen…

"...I remember he left a pool of blood when you finally stopped choking him and he was able to get up," she whispered. "And I remember you took me to the bathroom, gave me a bath and let me eat popcorn…. Never saw him again after that."

"He's dead, you know…" Alex mumbled. "Came into my OR a few years ago, high off his ass. Jo was his doctor… Bastard finally died of a bad ticker."

"Really?" Amber's voice rose to an incredulous tone. Alex just nodded. "...There is a God." She kept her head against Alex's shoulder and sat back to process it. Their Dad was really dead. She had prayed for years that God would finally catch up with him and he did. He's dead. The son of a bitch that was responsible for making all three of their lives hell finally bit the dust. She was just going to sit on the information, though. If Helen knew, she'd go off her meds. If Aaron knew, he would too. She'd tell them eventually, when the time was right. But for now, she was going to sit on it.

"You know Ambs, I never really… Thanked you for that day. For getting me off him. I probably would've killed him if you weren't there. Truth be told, you were always stronger than me."

"We were strong for each other. All of us. We were strong the only way we knew how to be."

Alex nodded, but he was pondering that thought. They really were strong for each other. He was the father. He packed lunches for field trips, went to the store and got food-legally or not-he bathed Amber, he got Aaron up for school, he protected them. He was strong for them. But they were strong for him too.

"I'll come home someday," he promised. "I'll come home."

"...That's not your home. Iowa's not your home. It was just temporary," she corrected him. "This is your home. With Jo and with Lyla and little Alex… This is your home. Iowa's not. It's where you're from. It's not your home. Seattle's permanent. Iowa was just your temporary home."

He let that thought simmer in the back of his mind too. He liked that. He liked the way it resonated with him. He liked the way that it was true.

"Why'd you come?" he finally asked her the question that was lingering on his tongue since the very moment he learned she was in Washington. "If Jo didn't call you… Why'd you come? Just to see me?"

With that, Amber finally took her head off her brother's shoulder and sat up straight. She herself had forgotten. In fact, she was glad that he mentioned it because if he hadn't, she would've been so lost in the moment that she would've gotten out of the car and left without even giving him what it was she traveled all this way to give him. She slipped her hand into the pocket of her jacket and pulled out a single white envelope.

"Here," she handed it to him. "I almost forgot…" Alex took it and held it in his hands. The envelope was thick and heavy with silver designs embroidered all over it. "Open it," she urged.

Without a single question, he flipped the envelope over and peeled off the silver heart-shaped sticker that sealed it. He plucked the thick white cardstock paper from the envelope and used the light illuminating into the car from the streetlights to read it.

 _Mr. & Mrs. Nicholas Evan McCann request the honor of your presence at the marriage of Amber Lynn Karev to Elliot Tucker McCann on Sunday, the Fourteenth of February Two Thousand Sixteen at five o'clock in the evening. Reception immediately to follow. Regrets only!_

"...You're gettin' married," Alex said with a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. He brushed his fingertips along the paper and reread the tiny paragraph over and over. "You came all this way just to give me an invitation…he a nice guy?"

"Well I didn't have an address… All I knew was that you worked in the hospital," she bashfully shrugged her shoulders. "He's a very nice guy… You'd like him." She stared at the invitation too. "Obviously Jo and the kids can come too. …Mom and Aaron will really enjoy meeting them and hopefully being part of their lives… If that's alright with you and Jo."

Alex nodded. "I wouldn't keep you away now that you know each other. Jo thinks it's real important for them to have blood family and… I guess I'm down for Mom meeting her grandkids. It's in Iowa?"

"Yeah. Ames. The address is on the back of the invitation. I know it's short notice, but-"

"It's fine," he stopped her. "We'll be there. I promise."

At that, Amber just smiled. "...And I was also kind of wondering…. If maybe… You'd… Walk me down the aisle?" Alex's jaw clenched. "Look Alex, I know it's a lot to ask, but when they say your father's supposed to give you away… I thought about it and I thought that I never had a father but then I thought about the definition of a father. And I thought about how you used to tuck me in and hold me and make sure I did my homework… You're the only father I've ever had… So I was just thinking-"

"Of course I'll do it, Amber. I'll be there and I'll do it."


End file.
